Have you ever heard a friend or family member describe a disheartening experience they had and then felt badly for them? Perhaps you got angry for them, felt sadness because of their situation, or simply felt empathetic? Alternatively, have you ever walked into a room or joined a conversation and felt an overwhelmingly heavy or dense energy? From an energetic perspective, that’s because we’re all interconnected to one another and we’re vulnerable to other people’s frequencies.
It is said that you should choose your five closest friends wisely for this reason, because their vibration will affect your own. I would argue that you should exercise caution when choosing your sexual partners for this exact same reason. It’s not uncommon for people to leave a one night stand feeling exhausted, “dirty,” or simply unlike themselves.
These feelings could arise for personal reasons, such as our own insecurities, our egos, and our judgements regarding ourselves and others, but it could also have a lot to do with the energetic implications of having sex!
What Happens to Your Energy When You Have Sex
If you’re having sex with someone, an act that physically connects you in the deepest way possible, it makes sense that their energy would be imposed on you. Furthermore, it is said that when you have sex with someone, their aura leaves an imprint on you that is difficult to energetically cleanse yourself from. So, what does this mean in terms of modern sex culture, where it’s not uncommon to sleep with multiple people?
Well, if you’re sleeping with someone who has slept with ten people in the past, and that individual hasn’t cleansed themselves from their former partners’ energies before, you may be susceptible to eleven people’s energies.
Sometimes, after having sex with a new partner, people report that they feel “different.” This is because your aura connects with your partner’s during sex and you exchange energies with one another, so your energy is usually slightly different after having sex. If you have sex with someone with a high vibration, intercourse could raise your vibration; likewise, if you have sex with someone with a low vibration, sex could lower your own.
However, just because you feel badly after sex doesn’t mean that you’ve just had sex with a “low vibe” person. Any feelings of guilt are ultimately a product of the ego, causing us to judge ourselves for our actions. Experiencing guilt after sex is also a feeling perpetuated by society, especially in relation to women, as female sexual energy was suppressed and discouraged by society for a very long time, and still is in some parts of the world.
Yes, you could take these feelings as a sign that you perhaps shouldn’t sleep with that person again, but you must also take responsibility for your own feelings and use this opportunity as a chance to gaze inwards. Ask yourself: Why am I feeling guilty or some sort of ‘negative’ emotion surrounding sex, and does it have anything to do with my ego, my partner’s energies, or societal pressures? Even though we are susceptible to other people’s energies, at the end of the day, we can control our own frequencies, but in order to do so we must observe what’s affecting our energy in the first place.
Plus, we shouldn’t judge people based on the vibes we get from them. To be clear, we should never judge anyone, and if you think you’re residing on a higher vibration than others, that could potentially be your ego talking, not your soul.
We’re all at different stages in life and going down different paths; that’s the beauty of the human experience! We’re not all meant to endure the same experiences or have the same interests, so of course we’re all going to give off different frequencies.
There’s a big difference between judging someone and feeling someone out. If you’re “vibing” with someone and you feel like you’re on the same wavelength as them, so to speak, then odds are you are! That doesn’t mean you’re going to have all of the same interests or be at the same stage in life, but maybe you’re giving off similar frequencies. The best you can do is to not judge others and trust your intuition, because ultimately your soul knows.
Despite this, I still believe it is healthy to have sex, especially if you’re cleansing yourself energetically. I believe sex can be used as a tool to deepen our inherent love and connection to one another and to ourselves. We are so much more than our physical bodies and sex is a lot more than just two bodies colliding for pleasure and reproductive purposes. I think that sex is meant to be an intensely spiritual practice, one that can sometimes offer you more pleasure than the actual orgasm itself through practicing tantra.
Tantric Sex and Taoism
Tantra is the Sanskrit word for ‘woven together,’ and through the study and practice of it, you can come to understand yourself and your partner better on a spiritual level. After all, by exploring yourself sexually, whether that’s on your own or with a partner, you’re ultimately just learning more about yourself, and thus more about Source.
Both tantra and Taoism encourage different methods of creating and building sexual energies between two partners for spiritual enlightenment. Although tantric sex is typically practiced with a partner, I believe that, through this practice, you can come to understand yourself better. In fact, a neuroscientist recently conducted a study which suggests that orgasms feel so good because they allow us to access an altered state of consciousness (read more about that in our CE article here).
One of the ancient practices within Taoism is controlling the male ejaculation during sex. Taoist practitioners believe that the loss of ejaculatory fluids equates with the loss of vital life force (or “jing”), so by learning to conserve the sperm, men can redirect the energy of the orgasm throughout the body. In a world where the goal of sex is often only to get the male to ejaculate, these Taoist practices would be valuable to experiment with.
This doesn’t mean that men should never orgasm; it’s simply a spiritual concept worth practicing on occasion that can actually bring more pleasure, when practiced correctly, than ejaculation. Some Taoists believe that by redirecting the energy upwards toward the crown chakra, it can provide nourishment to the brain. In modern sex culture, some people refer to this as “edging,” although many men may do this for different reasons.
Women can also redirect their sexual energy by moving it upwards, and play with different breath work techniques, although this wasn’t studied in ancient religions nearly as much. However, sex was viewed as an empowering act for females, as they can bring forth life and act as “tutors” for their partners during intimacy. Women were and still should be viewed as equals to men during sex, so it should be noted that these practices are only useful when both parties are consensual.
Whether you’re having sex or not, or regardless of who your sexual partner is, you should still try consciously cleansing yourself from other people’s energies. Even if it’s “positive” energy, at the end of the day, the only energy you want lingering around you is your own.
How to Cleanse Your Aura
It’s scientifically proven that all of our bodies emit an electromagnetic field, commonly referred to as an “aura,” which plays a very important role in understanding our biology and the interconnectedness we share with all life. To read more about the science of the aura, check out this CE article here.
Here’s how you can cleanse your aura (after sex or just in general):
Sage or “Smudging”
Not only does sage smell awesome, but it can also cleanse your home and your body of negative energy. Smudging with sage has been used for many years to cleanse people’s energetic auras and rid outer environments of negative energy.
Washing Your Hands or Body
Tons of people like to shower after sex for personal hygiene reasons, but water plays a crucial role in cleansing our energetic bodies as well! An excellent way to rid yourself of other people’s energies is to actually physically wash your hands or your entire body. As you feel the water flowing down on you, envision all of the negative (or positive) energy washing off, too.
Reflection and Meditation
Sometimes, to cleanse our energies, all we really need to do is go inwards. We need to take an objective look at our actions and our feelings in order to understand why we feel and act the way that we do. Plus, when we connect with ourselves, our true higher Self, and simply be present in that high vibratory state, we naturally rid ourselves of any energies that no longer serve us.
Sunlight and Nature
Exposure to sunlight naturally gets our energies flowing, and you could even try meditating and engaging in visualizations where the sun’s beams of light are cleansing your energetic field. Being in nature naturally raises our vibration and can help to ground and de-stress us.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t sleep with anyone, nor am I saying you should only sleep with people who are completely similar to you. I believe we can learn a lot from really diverse partners, but it’s still important to be mindful of this information and how it affects us at an individual and soul level.
Sex is a much bigger and more complex topic than the mainstream media and porn industry make it out to be. Sex can be messy or enlightening, emotional or detached, grounding or invigorating; but no matter, it’s always both physical and energetic, which is why it’s so important to cleanse ourselves afterwards.
Sex isn’t about what it looks like, it’s about the feeling you get, the energetic shift you experience, and the intimacy you share with your partner. We are so much more than our physical bodies, and believe it or not, sex can actually teach us that! Expressing ourselves sexually can not only improve our connections to our partners, but our connections with ourselves as well. Who knows, maybe in searching for a better sex life, you’ll end up finding yourself along the way.